I never in a million years thought I’d write a book. Much less, become inspiring because I made it out of a life, that for many years, seemed as if I were living out a curse left unto me. That a book called Issues would break the chains that were holding me to the life I had fought hard to break free from.
A life of dependence on drugs. Living with the abuse of drugs cursed with a negative outlook, for the fact, I’d lived my fair share of trauma. That at such a young age, seemed to fuel my bad behavior and criminal mind set, those chains are why my logo on Kurko Inspires contains a ghost. Springing free from the name KURKO INSPIRES. I say now, “That ghost represents the ghost of my past being set free from the inspiring side of me”!
The ghost represents all the judgments and self-doubts. All the things that living as an addicted person faces after the fact they decide to try to clean it all up. The lifestyle of an addict leaves a person chained to all the mistakes, failures, riddled right along with shame and judgment from folks that had chosen a better way.
“Walk a mile in my shoes.” I say to the people that wont give us a chance. The ones that talk down on my failure. Hey Ya’ll look, we all know you are better than us. We are our own worst critics. With that all said, I say it’s not easy to put the fires of the past out with everyone who suffered with you. Along for the ride through your pain and torment.
A normal person can’t grasp the why of it all. I, for sure, can not tell your story or why it is that you have suffered. Only here to relate the fact that for many years I was on the lower end of living while death was just a heartbeat away. I’m no better than anyone. Nore will I try to be. I’ve just got to be the best version of me.
That’s a goal I have carried out for the last 16 years. The stopping point for me was a child named Kash. Born unto my care at the age of 30. By a Woman who unconditionally loved, “ Paul Kurko” for the man she saw in me whom I had not known till that point. I burnt the past and all the bridges I had destroyed.
The relationships that lay in a pile of ash, due to the mishandling of life on the installment plan. The fact that those around me resented me to the point they may never forgive. I burnt a lot of trust with a lot of folks and through my addiction to a life of living hell. With my decision I had made, for the sake of my son Kash, to pull myself out of the lifestyle of that addiction and all that was wrapped up in it.
He has heard of my struggle, knows of it but by no means feels it. I carried my crucifix through this death wish, Living on the wild side. That sentence before this was straight out of the Motley Crue song, “Wild Side”. By God grace, and un-ending mercies I have made the decision to change my life for the better of my Family and kids, yes I said “Kids”! There is Kash, Kole and Jayton.
The funny part is that the only way Kash was going to be alright with a lil brother is if we let him name Kole. In my self-righteous head, I had justified naming Kash for the fact that I gave up a Harley Davidson to fund his arrival into this world. That arrival was very unusual, though the trials and tribulations showed God at every crisis.
When writing Issues and then reading it, a healing process took place. I then could see on paper the things that were still to that day blocking the inspirations of my life. When in your head, you are able to sort thoughts, files of memories, and emotionally driven feelings that come and go, leaving behind guilt and dismay. Even though they were just a fleeting glimpse, and then they dissappear on to the next thought, your mind goes.
Without the time to capture what was really going on or what had conspired, then. When you put it on paper, you are able to analyze those things, feeling’s emotions and all. Giving yourself time to confront what has gone wrong. A layout that you can see. I found writing the book Issues. Gave me the ability to process the ever eluding feeling of why and when things had gone wrong.
Even made me take a look into where I was wrong and the parts I played in it all. If i got lost in thoughts as I was trying to pick and choose what I’d keep and what to let go and let God. I could use the book and what I had written as a reference. By just turning the pages back. There’s where the healing could take place.
Just for the record, when writing the book Issues. I felt the power of what I was writing might bring insight to the fact, that the affected might prosper from the life I had lived, and the one that had left me at rock bottom with nowhere to go but up. Thankful am I that it all came out to be healing for me. Hope for the readers. without God, I could not have done it. Took me straight out of my comfort zone.
This book captures the readers. For me to be here on Earth as I am, became a very interesting story. Many times I didn’t think there was any way for me to make it. Here I am. The book Issues inspires people to look at things in a different light.
In my life I learned alot about, a little and a little about alot. There is most definitely God. The grace he has shown me is enough. The books are written to engage the readers and encourage a change, I’ve heard it reads like I’m in the room with you, telling the story of my life. My grammar, I use in some instances I do not correct. For the fact that my friends and family know it’s not AI.
I have shared my story to the point that many have reported back what they took away from the book, offering me an opportunity to showcase my life stories for the world to see, and with that I was able to create Kurko Inspires
Wow! What? Man, I feel like I’ve been quiet, just sharing my story everyday. Since I was young, this is where it’s taken me. I had my publisher Eric Jones who thought it would be a good book and a great Idea to publish ISSUES.
Thank you God he was right. I have heard back from people and got their feedback,
I’ve always enjoyed 😉 answering questions that arise while reading my books.
Eight years I’ve been in the business of inspiring folks kurkoinspires.org has been my helping hand to spread the stories. I’m on top of the world. Thank you to the readers who pushed me, inspired me, and supported me through this journey. Thank you! Dreams do come true. You can change once you admit to yourself there is a problem. I’m a living testament. My books are my testimony to the world of just how much God does behind the scenes for us that choose to believe. I for sure could not have done all this on my own. Thanks to you all.
Kurko Inspires 